......I thought he was lying at first
wanting me to feel sorry for him, maybe
giving me a sob story to butter me up to
ask me for money,
cause you know men lie, don't they?
they lie well, like lies are a part of who they are
I smile as he tells me don't be sad
I'm sad inside but I try and listen with a 'solid heart'
my heart is not that solid, its sorta like
carmel cake or freshly baked oatmeal raisin cookies
today Pablo doesn't want to talk
He greets me with a nod and walks along with me.
I stop and get my bagel and tea,
he stands outside the coffee shop and waits patiently
then we walk along Main street quietly. (It's 6:38 am)
I look at his feet from time to time
His worn out boots won't get him through the New York winter
I'm waiting for him to ask me for a dollar. I've been
waiting for 3 weeks, but he only wants me to lend him my ear
20 minutes each morning - I listen - he talks
but today, he sighs, loudly.....
sounds like a freight train ripping through his mind
I want to ask what's wrong, but I know better
I've heard the story I know what's wrong.....
(last week in a nutshell)
finally he speaks
I had a dream about momma stabbing Cham
what made me mad was she got blood on my
daddy's white tee shirt that I was wearing.
He told me it was mine, but it always smelled like him
I missed Daddy.
(I wanted to ask questions, but I bite my lip and kept quiet)
ain't no peace when you watch blood leave the earth
specially at 8
couldn't do nothing but cry inside
tears wouldn't come
mama told me it was his fault
(I assumed he meant his father's)
I nod my head for him to continue but it's as though I'm not even there anymore
heavy breathing...
I'm afraid sometimes......afraid that Cham will come take my soul like Mama took hers
She talks to me when I don't have my coffee (5th of Rum that he carry's everywhere)
I was in the room, I should have saved her
(how many of us have tried to drink or snort away guilt)
I just watched, watched, watched
Mama couldn't be killed she was already dead
by the way, you look pretty today, Cham had eyes almost just like yours
you could see through to her soul
(thank you Pablo...)
so what are you gonna do today my friend? I ask
sit right here, and wait for you to come back
(I had a million questions......but I knew to ask would close the porthole. For whatever reason, I need to know this man's story. Yes, he's a homeless person who walks the streets of New York fighting off demons that are not his. He's 72 years old, but he's still 8 years old. He's a part of my day, a part of my life, and I don't know why God has placed this man in my path, but I do know he's not crazy, nor is he inhuman. He is a human being and I will treat him as such.)
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Pablo's Thoughts
punctuation has been removed to protect the writer.....
Ma'am I'm an old man I recognize this but life has been unfair Are you placing blame I say Hell no, but the truth is shit happened to me that no man or woman should ever have to see. Is that why you have your 5th of coffee at your side every time I see you
Awwww that...no Missy, see that's just my way of telling the devil to go fuck himself, see a few years back we made this pack and I sorta reneiged on it, now I have to swallow this shit just to make sure he don't start talking to me to much (I attempt to not let him hear me gulp....really loudly)
Tell me about your family I say.....He laughs then grabs my shoulder. I can smell his anger. It was kinda like fried bologna mixed with citric magnsia and stale peanut butter.
Get your hands off me please....no disrespect but you dont wanna know that story Actually yes I do. Why cause Why cause you seem like you got something to say and I wanna hear it
My mama was ashamed and empty....why is that? just shut up and listen There were 5 of us but my sister Cham got the worst and the best of mama. Daddy left one night after they had a big fight and somehow managed to take all the life out of mama with him It's fuckup to have a mama who's there but gone So what happened with your sister Cham, where she at now???
She's dead....Mama heard a voice one night and killed her in front of all of us. I realized then I could miss my bus or ask Pablo to hold off on the rest of the story.
I missed the bus that day and was late for work.
Here's why!
Ma'am I'm an old man I recognize this but life has been unfair Are you placing blame I say Hell no, but the truth is shit happened to me that no man or woman should ever have to see. Is that why you have your 5th of coffee at your side every time I see you
Awwww that...no Missy, see that's just my way of telling the devil to go fuck himself, see a few years back we made this pack and I sorta reneiged on it, now I have to swallow this shit just to make sure he don't start talking to me to much (I attempt to not let him hear me gulp....really loudly)
Tell me about your family I say.....He laughs then grabs my shoulder. I can smell his anger. It was kinda like fried bologna mixed with citric magnsia and stale peanut butter.
Get your hands off me please....no disrespect but you dont wanna know that story Actually yes I do. Why cause Why cause you seem like you got something to say and I wanna hear it
My mama was ashamed and empty....why is that? just shut up and listen There were 5 of us but my sister Cham got the worst and the best of mama. Daddy left one night after they had a big fight and somehow managed to take all the life out of mama with him It's fuckup to have a mama who's there but gone So what happened with your sister Cham, where she at now???
She's dead....Mama heard a voice one night and killed her in front of all of us. I realized then I could miss my bus or ask Pablo to hold off on the rest of the story.
I missed the bus that day and was late for work.
Here's why!
Monday, October 03, 2005
The introduction!
Downtown was just beginning to stir as I walked along Market street at 6:15 am. I could feel my feet pressing against the concrete as I slowly made my way to the coffee shop. I spotted him laying at the bus stop as I walked past. He nodded his head in my direction and I smiled as I made my way down the street. He then yelled out...."hey you..." I refused to show any fear so I yelled back in an even louder voice, "HEY YOU" I think I may have shocked him out of his drunken stupor because he sat straight up and attempted to clearly focus on my face. Of course by then it was too late and I was inside the coffee shop. By the way, I don't drink coffee.
This has relevance, but not until later in the story.
For several weeks, this man was sitting or lying in the same spot both before and after I got off work. Some days he would simply stare at me as I walked past, other days, he would tell me he liked my hair or my dress. Some days he chose to tell me something profound about our country, like.....The world is fucked up becuase of the United States, you know that right? I would generally nod my agreement and keep walking. Then one day it happend. He wasn't on the bus stop. He walked up behind me and literally scared the shit out of me. I'd never been this close to a street person before, but I didn't want to be intimitdaed, so I smiled and told him to never walk up on me like that again unless he wanted to get cut. His laughter bellowed through the streets and then that's when I saw them. His beautiful grey eyes that cut through any fear I could possibly have. At his side he carried a half empty bottle of barcadi, his coffee, however he respected me enough to keep it at his side while he walked with me.
"Hello doll, my name is Pablo...Pablo Witherspoon, and I figured it was time for me to make an appropriate introduction. "Hi there, I'm Rhonda, how are you today? Well I'm good for an old man gone young.
Then it begins. He tells me the story. One of the most incredible stories I've ever heard in my life.
More Soon!
This has relevance, but not until later in the story.
For several weeks, this man was sitting or lying in the same spot both before and after I got off work. Some days he would simply stare at me as I walked past, other days, he would tell me he liked my hair or my dress. Some days he chose to tell me something profound about our country, like.....The world is fucked up becuase of the United States, you know that right? I would generally nod my agreement and keep walking. Then one day it happend. He wasn't on the bus stop. He walked up behind me and literally scared the shit out of me. I'd never been this close to a street person before, but I didn't want to be intimitdaed, so I smiled and told him to never walk up on me like that again unless he wanted to get cut. His laughter bellowed through the streets and then that's when I saw them. His beautiful grey eyes that cut through any fear I could possibly have. At his side he carried a half empty bottle of barcadi, his coffee, however he respected me enough to keep it at his side while he walked with me.
"Hello doll, my name is Pablo...Pablo Witherspoon, and I figured it was time for me to make an appropriate introduction. "Hi there, I'm Rhonda, how are you today? Well I'm good for an old man gone young.
Then it begins. He tells me the story. One of the most incredible stories I've ever heard in my life.
More Soon!
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Getting Over!
Getting over.......
Getting over what?
Getting over people
what kind of people?
People who hold you back
Back from what?
From life, destiny, peace of mind
Why?
Cause you'll destroy yourself with worry if you don't....
Today I got over
There is no residue left
I've been cooked all the way
No half done chicken in this pot.......
________________________________________________________________
Upcoming in Icy's world
I met a homeless man named Pablo a couple of weeks ago. Imagine that, a homeless man in New York. Almost unheard of huh? He has been enlightening me to many things. He is old, and dirty and walks with several sorts of limps. Society has abandoned him, labeled him as not only homeless, but hopeless, yet He has a twinkle in his eye that draws those of us who truly desire to understand what life is, and how we get where we are.....'sigh' He has entrusted me to share his story. I will try my best to due him justice.
In the coming days, I will write about what he has shared. He makes me smile, cry and get angry all at the same time. Almost like........ well that's another story, but Pablo will be here soon for he stays on my mind. I think I may be well on my way to experiencing what real writing is. Back soon folks.
Getting over what?
Getting over people
what kind of people?
People who hold you back
Back from what?
From life, destiny, peace of mind
Why?
Cause you'll destroy yourself with worry if you don't....
Today I got over
There is no residue left
I've been cooked all the way
No half done chicken in this pot.......
________________________________________________________________
Upcoming in Icy's world
I met a homeless man named Pablo a couple of weeks ago. Imagine that, a homeless man in New York. Almost unheard of huh? He has been enlightening me to many things. He is old, and dirty and walks with several sorts of limps. Society has abandoned him, labeled him as not only homeless, but hopeless, yet He has a twinkle in his eye that draws those of us who truly desire to understand what life is, and how we get where we are.....'sigh' He has entrusted me to share his story. I will try my best to due him justice.
In the coming days, I will write about what he has shared. He makes me smile, cry and get angry all at the same time. Almost like........ well that's another story, but Pablo will be here soon for he stays on my mind. I think I may be well on my way to experiencing what real writing is. Back soon folks.
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