How far would you go to be honest with a friend, or even an acquaintance? Another Blogger pal of mine began to speak about fake people and he got my wheels to turning this morning. Would you allow a friend to go out looking utterly stupid just to protect their feelings. Or would you risk the friendship by being honest if it meant keeping them from being shamed in public. Here's the scenario
A close friends calls you extremely excited about a dress she has purchased for a premeire you all are going to over the weekend. You go to her home, and she answers the door in a 2-sizes too small, cheap red dress that looks like she should be standing on the nearest corner. She has on matching red pumps with her ashy feet fat gracefully hanging out the sides. Her smile is a bright as the dickens, and she has decided since its a special night to add the fake gold tooth to go with her $5 dollar gold broach that somehow manges to hold her 44-double-D breasts inside this horrific ensemble. She invites you in and begins to twirl around the room, knowing you think the dress is fab. You want to gag on sight. She then doesn't wait for your response since your mouth is hanging open she's sure you love the outfit. Holding up two sets of earrings, she wants you to pick the best pair to complete her ensemble. So in your head your thinking, 'aint no way, I'm going out anywhere with her looking like some type of Rainbow kid wannabe tramp (new york sistas will know about the Rainbow kid theology) but she's excited, and you don't want to hurt her feelings. Do you? Your response would be to sit her down, and say,...
girl, the truth is?????
(side note, belly rings are for folks with nice flats abs...anything else is sinful)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
14 comments:
You gotta tell her if she is going for Ho she succeeded beyond her wildest expectations.
Like I said over at Dcver's blog, I can be painfully honest, and I can tell the necessary white lie...it depends on the situation and the person.
Depending on the friend's skin [tough or sensitive?] I'd either speak out the truth or I'd find a diplomatic way to let her know.
I have ways and means of letting people what I thinking without saying a word.
I'd frown, knit my brows, screw up my face.
Then she'd probably ask, "Don't you like it?"
And I'd say something about blue looking sooo good on her, why doesn't she try a blue dress, and a longer one would look really elegant, why doesn't she try a longer one...
Tell her, but say it in a nice way, lol! Some ppl just don't know any better.
So this was what you meant...
Yup, I'd tell her.
Let me put it this way: friendship is above such things if it is real friendship, if it isn't than I probably would prize my principles more than the relation.
I don't always say to Good Half that she looks great in an outfit, this is not bad considering she values my true opinion and most of all considering she usually DOES look great in most outfits and she ALWAYS looks great out of any outfit. ;)
What about you Icy? Would you prefer to be lied to?
D'Cver - Nope tell me the truth, and I always ask friends and my better half before going out, how does this outfit look. I pride myself on having a pretty good sense of style, and try to dress appropriate for the ocassion, but trust me, I have had bloopers in my 37 years....(the pics have all been destroyed so don't even ask)
Buffalo - you are very blunt, I like your style, of course I'm a lil more sensitive when it comes to telling someone they look like street trash. I'd probably try and use humor as a way of getting them to change clothes. My better half has an obsession with sport coats. I don't care what the ocassion, he always wears one. This used to drive me insane, now I've come to realize, its just a part of his personal style.
GG - my facial expressions usually give me away on most things, so I try and use my poker face as much as possible, especially if it means telling someone they are not looking their best.
Red - Thanks for stopping by. You look to be extremely blunt and to the point. Is it the red hair, or just life in general?
I'm trying to establish some balance in 'directness. Of course considering my new location, I'm sure I'll learn soon enough.
humm.... I'm having more trbl with this than others are. Yes, if I was sure it was utterly wrong, I'd find a way to tell her, but gently. But usually things aren't quite so clear as you paint it, and my sense of taste and style aren't for everyone. I've had lots of folks say things like "ohhh, that shirt is BRIGHT" and I know they hate it... but the color makes me happy and just because i live in an urban area doesn't mean I have to wear black 12 months a year like everyone else. So I'm thinking of that taste issue as well.... and not everyone WANTS to look ready-for- church-proper when they are going out at night. And not every fat girl thinks she has to hide her body to be beautiful. So to me, this is slippery. Where I have the biggest difference is about not wanting to be seen with someone looking like a tramp. I draw a firm line there. My friend is my friend, whether she LOOKS like a tramp or IS a tramp, if she is my friend I am not ashamed to be seen with her, only ashamed of those who judge without knowing her character....
this is a difficult problem...
my curse, nothing ever seems black and white, I'm always blinded by nuance...
Actually, buffalo has a point. The trick is genuinely to find out how she WANTS to look.
Bet you can guess I'm not a fan of makeover shows....
Hayden, you know I've often wondered what's makes a person so unhappy about their appearance, and you did make a good point, why are we so hung up on looks. I guess its just the American way. Sad but true. I would probably still hang out with my friend if she chose to wear the ugly red dress, especially if I knew she already had self esteem issues, and this was a part of her coming out, who am I to judge. But trust me in my mind, I'd be cringing, until of course I just got over it and went on with my day.
I'm not gonna lie, I work at not judging a person's appearance, as I'm sure most of us do. It's just nature, but I am definitely learning some things about human nature with every passing day. Maybe after we take out the kyak I'll be more inclined to embrace tacky looking clothing.
Since you mentioned kayaking....I signed up for a whale watching kayak trip once... made a special request for a particular boat I was thinkin' of buying, a nice little number, sleek and she takes a bit of handling. The guide told me later "I asked around but the guys down here didn't know you - I was so worried you wouldn't be able to handle the boat but when I saw you coming across the parking lot I knew you'd be ok." (!!!???!!!) After some prodding he shrugged and said, 'you LOOK like a kayaker, all mismatched and stuff not brand new!" I was so PROUD I didn't want to ever wear new kayak duds again...
Now that's something to be proud of. I wonder if I look like a writer, or just a reformed hoot rat? Who knows, who really cares. I just do what I do.
Y'know, talking about appearances...to be honest, I've hung out with gals wearing skirts too short, blouses unbuttoned too low [tarty] and it never bothered me.
But if a friend dressed like Icy described did ask me, and she truly wanted to know, I'd still find a gentle way to tell her.
As for me, I wear tatters to walk in the morning and don't give a rat's tutu.
Hayden, I'm having a slow net week, and it's taking a looonnng time to open your blog...argh...
Oh, when I sai too short skirts and blouses too unbuttoned, I meant gal pals in the office...definitely not dressed right for the office.
tatters and a rat's too. Yep its defintely gonna be an interesting day...lol
Post a Comment