Someone Please Give this Chic a Zan-X

Before going to bed last night, or should I say this morning. I realized that I had left some papers on my nightstand. I was just about to fall asleep when I bolted out of (living room floor) to retrieve the papers and read them over one more time. What was the great sense of emergency in my having to read over these important documents at 2:am? Absolutely nothing. The documents were the following. My grocery list. My things to do list. I had reviewed them at least 7 times throughout the course of the day, and needless to say, I had pretty much memorized both lists. I am not obsessive compulsive, at least not on Sundays. I don't have a bed. I think this fact alone is making me crazy. I am also conscious that I have only three pieces of bread left in the loaf and three is not such a cool number. I got up and threw one of the pieces of bread out into my front yard at 5:30 this morning. Had to feed those birdies. Since I am in transition I am currently sleeping on the floor. This is lots of fun as long as the rats decide to stay at the neighbors house and not visit me, but I find myself getting up at least 8 or 9 times during the night. I love infomercials and have the sweetest dreams when I watch them. Speaking of dreams.....never mind, I'll talk about those tomorrow.

I can't sleep if my washing machine is not running. I can't sleep without the television or the radio. I can't sleep if my door is not locked. Doesn't have to be shut, just as long as the lock is turned. I can't sleep without my pillows being stuffed neatly between my legs, and the room a cool 65 degrees. I can't sleep without my Jill Scott Poetry book right beside me and my favorite bear, Blane Porterfield on the other side. I can't sleep without hearing my man's voice. I can't sleep unless I pray. I can't sleep unless I have a plan for what I'm going to do the following day. I can't sleep if there are dishes in my sink. I can't sleep if clothes are not folded and put away. I can't sleep unless the toilet seat is down and the shower curtian closed. I can't sleep without having a piece of ice in my mouth before I lie down. I can't sleep without checking to make sure all my writing is filed away where it should be. Basically, one might say I am functionally crazy, but that's the great thing about interpretations, everyone has a different one.

My oldest daughter couldn't find her lighter the other day, so she decided to take the toaster out into our hallway and use it to light her cigarette. (Thank God she has moved into her own place now) This was crafty, but she left the toaster out in the hall overnight, someone decided to steal it. It was a $10 toaster and although I had it for 5 years, it didn't have any real sentimental value, but last night I couldn't seem to stop thinking about who had my toaster. Where did they place it in their kitchen? Did they sit it on the counter? Maybe on top of the fridge, on the kitchen table. Did they have roaches? Would the roaches crawl into my toaster? Did they try and sell it for some crack or cyrstal meth? Should I be laying here at 4:00 a.m thinking about this? Probably not, but I'm allowing you a little deeper into my somewhat twisted mind so you can pray and thank God you don't have as much time on your hands as I do right now. I wonder what they thought when they seen my toaster sitting there. Did they think it was a blessing from God, since maybe they didn't own one? What if a child got a hold of it and decided to make toast for all their friends the following day? Good thing she didn't leave something out there I really cared about, or I may never sleep again. Basically I need either some medication or a bed!