Committed to the process

To be in a position to want to commit to something, especially in this day and age is really awesome, especially when so many are committed to never committing. I am so grateful for the opportunity that has suddenly been presented before me. One that allows me freedom of expression and the ability to love and be loved. In a perfect world, I would have had this a long time ago, but of course prolly would have managed to do something to destroy it. Not to mention, we don't live in a perfect world. The process of getting to know someone often comes with realizations of just how twisted you are in terms of how you once viewed relationships. If he rubs my feet, I find myself thinking about other situations where my feet were hurting and some other he refused to rub them. Or when he holds me in the middle of the night, I would hear myself crying thinking about all the abuse I once had to suffer. Now since my thinking is going into a whole nother other I'm gonna close out here and pick up a little later with a more cloudier rendition of Icy's mindset for Wednesday. I will say this though, it feels so good to be committed to the process, even if you never actually been through the process in such a way as this before.