I saw it. He saw it too. In my mind as I began to slowly drift off to sleep I remembered saying to myself. Looks like a rat on the wall. Then he asks me. What's causing that shadow? It wasn't fear. I knew this. It was just an insatiable desire to know what caused the shadow on the wall. I offer what I think might be an intelligent answer, then he moves to the other side of the room and begins moving things around to find the cause of the distortion on the wall. In the back of my brain, something says, this formation of a rat represents what you had just experienced earlier. I am afraid of rats. Most who know me, know this is my one true fear. I hate them, detest them. Will walk away from my home if I ever see one. Have done so in the past when the struggle didn't include strong pesticides to keep the rodents away, as I lived next to an alley that was filled with them. Thank you God for change.
Anyway, I watched Mr. Rat. He didn't move. He was dead, but in my mind he was snickering at us. Snickering at the earlier exchange where one of us was trapped and the other saught to pull the other to safety. Doesn't matter who was drowning. If he drowns, I drown. We are one. I drown in my dreams if they attempt to confuse me to the point where I can not function or get a good nights sleep. (This entry is not for entertainment purposes....deep shit happened, I need to express it, so bear with me) I kept hearing his words, yet something was attempting to pull me deeper into sleep. This in itself was unusual as I am usually the one left starring at the wall, while he drifts off into nothingness. I drifted. He fought. Battled some demonic forces that brought a powerful spirit with them. Confusion. I heard the battle, and wanted to help fight, yet there was something, something trying to keep my attention from what he was going through. God needed me to be strong and something was holding me. Until he said, "SIT UP NOW!" Whatever it was that was slowly driving me into unconsciousness had to release its hold and I could sit up and engage in spiritual warfare. It was real spiritual warfare. I believe in the power of God. I make this no secret. I don't bite my tongue and I don't fret as most believers do when it comes to spirituality and knowing who God is. I know Him. He knows me. So I sat up, and I could almost feel the ground trying to collapse under me. Then he said, "come on. I have to do this." I knew exactly what he was doing. Getting that spirit our of our home. I walked, I prayed. I felt the ground trying to shft under my feet, but God said,"keep praying." This force will not win. You are stronger than any element that attempts to destroy you because I am in you. We prayed through the night.
I awoke this morning, exhausted. He knew I was tired. He let me rest. He kissed me and I slept in peace. Then after he had left, I saw a door opening and confusion ran through it. He ran and had 'gazillions' of Hungry New York Rats following after Him. I was no longer afraid. He was in the form of a woman who preferred Beef to Pork, but felt she needed to prove a point (by counting points) She had long hair and a cunning smile. She had a level of openess that I found intriguing and somewhat disturbing, yet I didn't initially know what to make of it. Now I know why he stays 'away from shadows', (not a blunder) away from the glamor and glitz of too many interpersonal relationships. You open yourself to Confusion, and if he stays too long, he will bring some of his partners, (anger, discord, control, uncleanliness, whoredom......and before you know it, your home will be in dissaray, and your soul will be in utter turmoil. I must go clean now. Confusion is gone, and order must be restored to our home.
Father, I thank you for allowing me to write about this experience!
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8 comments:
hmmm Icy, very interesting... a rat. ?
you know what they say- a vision of a rat in a dream means a hidden jelousy somewhere
-and how do you keep "Confusion" from comming back? (my grandma says: by keeping the house clean litterally)
Wow, that's deep. I beleive that confusion does come from jealousy, it makes sense. Now I must get rid of all the residue.
Seems that the book you mentioned in your last post and the events in this one have some correlation. I am glad that you have the strength and willingness to write about the experience. I think it's fair to note that in cases of spiritual attacks they Enemy often uses people who themselves mean us no ill will or harm but are unwittingly vessels for confusion. Spirits ride our coat tails like rocahes move from house to house in boxes that were never unpacked. We must deliver ourselves (rather:seek divine deliverence) from the excezz baggage we pack around needlessly. We may be infesting the lives of those we encounter with out hitchhicking spirits.
Good post. Thank you. For everything.
Isn't there a ballet where the enemy is the Rat?
And I could never remember which one is Tom and which one is Jerry. You know the solution now ;)
Icy, I was sleepy when I wrote that, about the ballet...I was trying to draw parallels between your struggle, and the struggle in that ballet...they're similar...the struggle between good and evil.
The ballet in question is The Nutcracker. The KIng of Rats, came out of the shadows. There was a battle where the nutcracker doll came to life and defended the heroine from the evil Rat army.
Icy, Can't even read right now, have printed out and will later. Thanks for your nice note, my hard drive is down and I can't have fun and play on company time. Hopefully will be back up before the weekend.
Best!
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